Stuck

So tonight I got to endure one of my longest running problems. When I get frustrated I can't formulate the words I need to say what I need to say. That ultimately frustrates me more. I stormed out on Chris because I couldn't even formulate saying that I need to cool off. I wish I knew how to fix it, but how do you fix something that's been a problem since you could remember. I don't know how to deal with it. It's like I'm trapped in my own mind and I can't get any messages out. Not by talking, not by writting. It's so difficult to just sit there searching for the words you know you have. I think it's why I used to cut, I just didn't know of any other way, bulimia just took up my emotions, cutting became my words. Now I dont cut, now my words are at a loss again. Sometimes I feel like an infant who doesn't know how to tell anyone what's wrong. It's scary. It could be why I never talked about what my uncle did. It could also be behind my artistic blocks, when I can't draw or write. I also hate dealing with things, this is the first time I've tried to formulate this problem on paper so to speak. I don't know...
Goodnight,
~Peaches