ArtsySex sent you a playlist: "The Hunger Games: Songs From District 12 and Beyond"

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ArtsySex has shared a video playlist with you on YouTube. The Hunger Games: Songs From District 12 and Beyond
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Goals

I have some personal goals that I've been trying to accomplish (and sucking at doing so). So I thought blogging about them might motivate me, and cause me to blog at least once a week....hopefully.

• Minimum one cup of tea a day
• Minimum one fruit or veggie per meal/snack
• Minimum twenty minutes exercise three to four days a week
• Minimum ten minutes yoga four days a week
• Minimum one hour hooping a week
• Minimum thirty minutes running a week
• Minimum thirty minutes meditation a week
• Minimum one drawing a week

These goals will help me be who I want to be, it's just a matter of me actually doing them. So far I'm doing well with the one cup of tea, as per the past three days.

Ways for me to accomplish said goals would be to make time and stop being lazy -.- and to go food shopping for fruits and veggies...

Wish me luck! <3

Sucker Punch

I got see Sucker Punch last night and it was awesome! If it wasn't so expensive to go to the movies I'd keep going back to see it. I also really want the soundtrack, there were some great remakes and some nice mash-ups as well as new songs I've never heard before. My brain is on overload from it still, but I am sleepy so goodnight all!

Work in progress

I'm totally proud of myself, my husband and I hung out with friends tonight and I was more relaxed and socialible than I usually am. I'm trying to come out of my shell and this is definitely progress!

I did decently food wise today, especially with having to hear all the diet talk at work. (>.<) I really wish people would keep that shit to them selves.

Look I updated again so quickly. (^.^)

Goodnight!

Something Fishy

ED has been bothering me a lot lately, so I've re-involved myself on the Something Fishy forums. This time I plan on actually doing all the helpful things and using the site to it's full potential. I will be working on my self esteem and trying to let go of things that I really don't need hanging around in my head. I also am going to try and blog more. (^.^)

That's all for now, I'm very tired.

Goodnight.

So Much on my Mind...

Lately my eating disorder has been throwing it's self in my face. I haven't purged but I've started binges, the urge to purge being insane afterwards.

I've also had thoughts of cutting again, like vivid thoughts. I haven't and don't want to cut ever again, it's just a side effect of an old addiction when I'm stressed. I did start to disassociate yesterday, paired with scratching at my face, I stopped myself though. No marks.

I fear that I may have gained weight, therefore I'm avoiding weighing myself like the plague, I really don't need to fuel ED's fire.

My SAD has also been kicking my ass lately, I've been avoiding making calls to people I should have zero problems calling. It's also why I haven't written here in a while. I know it's frustrating Chris, hell it frustrates me. I wish there was away to make all my issues magically disappear, but there's not and I know it will take a lot of patience to get over them.

I'm currently lost in my brain with the fact that my dad has been talking with his birth father and may be able to meet him this week. I have mixed feelings about this. Part of me wants to meet him, partially to actually meet him and partially just for medical reasons. Then there's the part of me that doesn't want to meet him because I feel like it's replacing my grandfather. I know I'm not really replacing him, and that he will always be my Grandpop. I guess it's just dealing with the fact that after my mother's father disowning me, and my father's father dying, I was left with no grandfathers. Finding out that there's another one out there excites me, yet it scares me. There's a fifty-fifty shot that he could either be respectable like my Grandpop or a jerk like my Poppop, and I don't know if I can handle it. I know why he never contacted us, that's obvious and I am one hundred percent okay with my Grandpop decision, but I don't want to risk him eventually abandoning me like my Poppop did. I feel like I could live with only having my medical history for that side, but at the same time, I want to know so much about him. I'm at a loss right now...

I'm sorry if I rambled...

~Peaches

P.S.
My mom has been really nice lately, my dad said she's feeling nostalgic since I turned 22. It's weird, and I'm on guard. I'm afraid it'll only be like this for a little and go back to us not getting along like it usually does, but I really want it to work this time. Better late then never I guess.

From End to Beginning

"Everybody asks why I started at the end and worked back to the beginning, the reason is simple, I couldn't understand the beginning until I had reached the end."
~ Astrid (Alison Lohman), White Oleander


I plan on writing everything down this week, everything, and then I'm just going to shelve the book, save it for if I ever write a memoir. I want these thoughts out of my head, gone but not forgotten. I feel part of the reason I'm locked in my head is because I held things in for so long that now I can't express myself. It's probably why I haven't been doing too much artwork, holding my emotions in is stopping my artistic flow. I also feel it's preventing me from my full potential in all aspects of my life.


I wanted this blog to be better, but I'm just too tired tonight, had to be at work at 5a.m. this morning...


~Peaches